Leaving Religion to find my Identity was not an easy task. What I am leaving is the religion system. Once I realized how deep religion deceptions go, I chose to leave false religion. In doing so, I found my identity, and I go to know The Most High on a deeper level. Leaving the faith or religion that I held dear all my life was not an easy undertaking. My faith was the core of who I was. However, the Bible talks about obedience is better than sacrifice. One may wonder, why are you leaving christianity, but you are still referring to the Bible and quoting it? This is why deciphering this christianity religion becomes hard to explain but I will try. I still believe in The Most High, our Creator, The One who took His Chosen out of Egypt. I believe that He sent a Savior to teach His Ways to His People, and I believe that His power is alive and well to this day.
The Christianity Churches Traditions Hide Our Identity
I no longer go to church, tithes, participate in holidays like easter, christimas, etc…and I am re-learning the Bible and other Books such as, the Apocrypha. I am also re-learning history and cross referencing that with the Bible accounts to come to my own conclusions. For example, once you start looking at the Sabbath it opens up so many questions that you will have no choice, but to truly research the matter. Some of the questions are when are we suppose to observe the Sabbath? Saturday? Sunday? You will have no choice but to research different calendars, and how Sunday came into the picture and why. Of course as you do, more questions will arise, and this is when it starts to be fun. How about you? Will you be searching for the truth too? What topics in the christian religion do you struggle to understand? I realized that in order to find my identity I had to look in-ward to my spiritual self.
My Story: Finding Myself Required Transitioning from Religion To Relationship
This journey started about 2 months ago from today. We are in mid-April 2022. I was on Facebook and a popular preacher called Marcus Rogers commented on a tiktock video. In the video this woman talks about what jesus name sounded like in terms of the 666 number of the beast…see for your self and hopefully when you read this the link will still be available. This video wouldn’t leave my mind.
Black History Month
As February rolled around, I realized that it was the black history month. This was something that never interested me, but for the first time I wanted to learn about black history month. See, for the longest time I have hated myself. Something I think has something to do with, trauma, loss, and society narratives. Because of self-hate ( something I will write more about later) I also didn’t really care for things that related to me like Africa, being black, and black history. I didn’t even know that there was such thing as a black history month. However, something inside of me wasn’t settling down. I just felt like I need to keep searching, digging, and most importantly I wanted to know who I was. So on the identity journey, I went.
Lack of Identity Leads to Stockholm Syndrome
As I am learning more about Black History, I am realizing that most black people including myself suffer from something called Stockholm Syndrome. “Stockholm syndrome is a coping mechanism to a captive or abusive situation. People develop positive feelings toward their captors or abusers over time. This condition applies to situations including child abuse, coach-athlete abuse, relationship abuse and sex trafficking“. The abused starts to adopt ways and coping mechanisms that he or she feels will be acceptable to the abuser”. I can honestly say that low self-esteem and lack of self-love stems from accumulated traumatic, and abusive experiences in my own personal life. This is why I will be sharing more on what I did to heal from those traumatic events. Keep reading! I realized that everyone has some sort of trauma. It is not longer taboo to admit that you have trauma. It is taboo to not heal from it if you are able.
Stories of Our Ancestors’ Spirituality: The Did Not Have Religion
One of the post I saw on Facebook talked about the taking and selling into slavery IGBO tribes. As the story said that the IGBO tribes overtook the ship, and instead of coming into the new world as slaves, they downed themselves. As faithful christian I was, I decided to share the gospel to these commenters on that thread who were heartbroken of what their ancestors went through. My comment was something like this : “Trauma is something that has been proven to pass from one generation to the next. The good news is that jesus can heal. He healed then, and he can heal now. He can heal passed on trauma from generation to generation”.
The People Leaving Religion and Finding Their Identities
I received so much push back on this comment. Some were mean. Others were pointing out how much the church participated in slavery. Something about a slavery ship that named jesus, etc…What caught my attention was someone said that slaves couldn’t learn how to read. Additionally, the indoctrination of slaves by using another Bible version to enforce slave obedience. These comments stayed with me. I couldn’t shake them off. I started asking myself, what if what I know to be truth, isn’t. This thought scared me so much.
Men Created Religion and Corrupted The Bible~ Where Did The Name Jesus Come From?
I thought the Bible was true, absolute, and unchanged. So, I started there. This is when I found out the removal of Bible Books. This is when I started to see how the Bible changes from one version to the next. So many questions flooded my mind. I looked into where the name jesus came from, and when I found out that the name is less than 500 years old, I was even more confused. What did the disciples call Him? What did He look like? Is the image we are sold to be jesus, the true likeness of Him? How can I relate to someone I now feel like I do not know? This is when I went down the rabbit hole in searching of the truth.
Find The Most High’s Identity; Find Yourself
Remember how I have been struggling with fitting in and understanding who I am? Struggling with my identity is something that is common to a people who suffered oppression and ridicule based on how they look. One of the comment I made during the Black History Month was that I truly believed that as much as Africa has suffered, one would come to believe that it is truly the Promised Land. I did not know what I was talking about, but later I was convinced through research that in fact, that revelation was true. So, what does that have anything to do with The Most High’s image? Well, I have been a christian for over 24 years and I did not really understand what the Bible said because I was blind. Lets look at the creation story in Genesis and what it says.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
Genesis 1:26-27
Bible Clues
When I started to re-learn the Bible, I felt the need to breakdown every word and attempt to understand it. One of those words is “Image”. The Most High said lets create man in our image. At this point He had finished creating all other things like animals after their kinds, sea creatures, things that crawled to the ground. None of the things He had already created looked anything like His Image. So what was so special about man? Another word I paid close attention to is “Our Likeness”, what is His likeness like? Can the Bible give us glimpse? In order for me to see what The Most High looks like? I have to look at the man He created. By looking at the man, it is like looking at a reflection of The Most High.
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
Genesis 2:7
The First Man Reflects The Most High
In all other creation, He spoke and it came to pass, but when He created man, He got down and got His Holy Hands dirty with dirt. The “Image”, and the “likeness” of Himself, was so important to Him, that just speaking the words was not going to be enough. The best understanding He gave me is the illustration of a potter. However the text is giving me some clues. If Adam had legs, it is safe to assume that The Most High also have legs. If Adam had hands, can speak, can walk, the most High can too. It is also safe to assume in the likeness of The Most High, He created Adam, but why did The Most High use dust? Could The Most High look like dust? What color is dust?
The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed.
Genesis 2:8
Fertile Rich Soil is Dark in Color
You know since we moved to our homestead, I picked up gardening. Not only that The Most High created a man with His own hands, He also planted a garden! So cool, right? This is a new revelation to me. The Most High Gardens! So, as I learn more about gardening, I realize that the richest soil is the darkest soil in the most cases. If The Most High took the time to plant a garden, It is safe to assume that the soil was rich, hence brown to dark brown in color. Since He used the same soil, it is safe to assume that the first man was in fact BROWN. If knowing what The Most High looks like means looking at His creation, it is safe to assume that The Most High is BROWN.
Why Change His Image
So one must ask, why would christianity religion go out of its way to change His Image. Make His image look like something other than what The Bible describes. Ok, let me challenge you. Open up a new browser and look up Adam and Eve in the Garden and see the images that come up. Any of them with brown skin color? Ok, go to YouTube and do the same search. What do you see? I really never questioned the white jesus or a white god. Why push the white jesus so much? What if this image of god is false? What if in fact there is the supremacy mindset in the christianity religion? If the Most High’s Image is different that what religion teaches, are we then worshipping a false god? What did The Most High Himself say about His Image? Why is a representation of His Image so Important to Sonini Nanini?
The First Commandment
The Most High’s Image is so important to Him that it was the very first commandment that He gave to His People. I am the Lord your God. You shall not have strange gods before me. Do not make to thyself any graven thing; nor the likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or in the earth beneath, nor of those things that are in the waters under the earth. You shall not adore them nor serve them. Christians tell me something, if you worship the same God, The Most High of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob can you seriously tell me that His Image is not important to Him? When you are worship these white images, who are you worshipping? Clearly, He created a man in His own image and His likeness, and He chose the soil from the Garden He planted to do so. Have you ever seen fertile soil be white?
Finding Myself in the Genesis Story
As I re-read the Book of Genesis, I find myself in the story. All my life I hated what I looked like. The brown skin, the kinky hair, and I cleaved and tried to be someone else so I can fit in, and be who society seems to accept. More and more questions flooded my mind so off to seeking of the truth I went. Imagine what my life would have been like if the Christianity religion would have described this Genesis story to me the way I am describing it to you. What would have my confidence been like? How could I have loved myself and others if I had a truthful foundation? Although the journey to the truth hasn’t been easy, I am finding myself little by little. How can I truly love others, if I don’t love myself? If I do not see the value of who I am, and if I do not know that I was created in His “likeness” truly, how will I fulfill my calling? Now I understand that my brown skin matters, my kinky hair is beautiful, and I am finding a profound love for people who look like me. You cannot love yourself without knowing who you are! A lot people who look like me, do not know who they are! I am hoping that as I share how I found myself, you are in inspired, and encouraged. At last My People will stop trying to find validation from their oppressor, and rather walk in their true Power!
What Makes His Name So Important
When I was young, they nicknamed me Vetiveli. Vetiveli was a long grass that commonly grew by the road and some used it to grow in their garden as part of a flower garden. I hated when they called me this nickname instead of Yvette my real name. When The Most High freed his people from Egypt, The Most High commanded His people “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain”.
The Second Commandment
In the Second Commandment, it is clear that The Most High’s name is important to Him. One may ask, what does taking the name of the Most High in Vain? One can also ask, is changing His name, or naming Him something else that has no relationship to His name, taking His name in vain? Would carelessly transliterating ( which simply has something to do with swapping letters from one language to another and has nothing to do with a true meaning of a word) His name be considered to be in vain? What I noticed via the christianity religion is that most are breaking The Most High’s Commandments and do not even know it. I was one of them. Do me a favor and look up where the name jesus came from. Look up what transliterating mean and how it was used to come up with the name jesus. I am starting to find that companies like google are changing these search results and re-enforcing lies, so user alternative search engines to get balanced answers. I will break my findings down in separate blog post for each of these topics. In the mean time, let me know what you find out.
Broken Commandments
Once I started challenging what I knew, it is like The Most High started to guide me in the right direction. The next thing that I started looking into was the 10 commandments and trying to fully understand what they meant. I didn’t have them memorize. Why would a christian of 24 years not know the commandments? Is it because we have been sold a lie that we do not have to obey them? As if The Most High can be mocked? As if The Most High has completed changed? I can almost promise you that majority of christians do not know them because the excuse is that they do not live under the law anymore. However, like I stated before, has The Most High changed His nature, rules, and law? I beg to differ, He doesn’t change, and that is why He is The Most High.
God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?
Numbers 23:19
Deception Kills
What would motivate people to want to change the name, the law, and Commandments of The Most High? We see throughout Scriptures how sin came into the world. Some of the consequences of sin are the Flood of Noah, slavery of The Most High Chosen People, death, disease, pain, and suffering. What else are they trying to hide? I do believe, that they are hiding the deception. The deception of we no longer live under the law, that we live in the age of grace. Disobedience of the 10 Commandments keep us in bondage (not just the 10, there are more commandments). Starting with the First Commandment which deals with The Image of The Most High. The Same Image He created us in, that was corrupted to look like someone else. We have come to believe that this jesus image that was created for us is true image, hence breaking the very first Commandment. One of my blog post is me talking about how I saw jesus. https://thrivingatlast.com/?p=1179 The experience is true, I saw that man in the papaya tree, but now I am realizing that it was not Him. So who was that? If we believe that jesus was born in the land we call Israel today, then the person I saw matches who one would believe to be jesus. However, based on the study of the Book of Genesis and how man was created, one would assume I saw someone else. The only answer I can give is the following:
And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.
2 Corinthians 11:14
Why is The Sabbath an Important Commandment?
The Sabbath, is something I did not think was even relevant until recently. I thought Sunday was the 7th day and not working, attending church, and doing something like gardening meant that somehow someway it was a day set aside to worship. I never questioned anything about the Sabbath, and it almost felt like it was absolute. My question is why do christians not celebrate The Sabbath. Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy. If the argument is that Sunday is the Sabbath, why is it not kept Holy? Is it because we do not understand the concept of keeping something holy? Or is it because we were meant to believe that we no longer have to obey this commandment because we are living under grace not works? I did a lot research in the study about the Sabbath, and I still feel like I have not yet scratched the surface. However, I am convinced that the Sabbath is so important to The Most High, that those who keep it Holy receive unique blessings in their lives and are living in obedience.
Until Next Time…
I am leaving a religion that is not telling the entire truth. Truth that can actually set people free. People who look like me, who are lost and can find comfort in the truth of the scripture. It is sad that something so beautiful and pure has been taken and used for the profits of men. The more I learn and understand The Most High, the more I have fear and reverence for Him. His is not weak, He means business, and as for grace, His Grace covers us in our blindness. When we do not know, when we do not understand, Grace covers us. Grace is not there to give us a free VIP card to sin, to mock, and to disobey. One of these days, He will crack open the sky, and He will come out looking different than what the false religion sold to us, and this is why this verse scares me so much that I could pee my pants. I pray for myself and for you that we are no these people who built our houses on the sand so help us Sonini Nanini, but rather people who built on a solid ground. Don’t you find it so interesting that the first four commandments that have so much to do with The Most High have been severely disobeyed by the christian religion? This is why I call it false religion.
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
Matthew 7:21-26
