Strategize/Nothing Happens By Chance

In order to strategize so that you do not give up, the first three steps are: 1. Establishing a prayer life, 2. Clearly know your identity, and 3. Identify Your calling. As I illustrated in prior posts, your spirit man leads everything. In order to be successful in our journey, we need some supernatural help and reinforcements. Our spirit must connect with Sonini Nanini not only in prayer but also in covenant. Sonini Nanini has rules and regulations that He hold dear. These commandments, statutes, and ways of Sonini Nanini are designed to connect us to Him. In order for us to succeed in our calling, we must obey them. Sonini Nanini is the foundation for everything that we do. Otherwise, we cannot fulfill the calling He gave us at creation, if we do not obey Him.

Obey The Law

We are a spirit with a soul, and a body that encapsulates it all. Our Spirit has to draw from another spiritual source in order to feed our souls and bodies. The spiritual source can be a good source or an bad source. The light or darkness will guide your life. It is life an electrical grid that feeds smaller grids where you house connects to. Some connect to dark spirits and practice spirituality that leads to manipulation, control, murder, lying. Others connect to spirituality that leads to love, forgiveness, kindness, generosity, treating others the wat we want to be treated. However, one source of spirituality is more powerful than the other, and it is the one of our Creator. Sonini Nanini has rules, and statutes in place for us to obey in order to live well.

The Savior Did Not Take Away The Commandments

Most Christians will say that The Savior said that we only have two commandments now and that is it. What they fail to notice is that these two commandments are two categories of the entire list. The first 4 commandments about our love to Sonini Nanini.

Love Thy Sonini Nanini

• You shall have no other gods before Me. Sonini Nanini is the only Creator, The Most High. No other deity shall be worshipped other than Him.
• You shall not make idols. No graven images shall be worshipped. It is idolatry.
• You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. You must respect Sonini Nanini. He is mighty, He is good all by Himself. He was not created buy created the entire universe. Show respect that is greater than any king receives.
• Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. This is the commandment that most christians break. We must observe the weekly Sabbath just life Sonini Nanini did. For six days He created, and on the 7th day, He rested. The Sabbath starts Friday at sunset (google when the sunset is in your area, till Saturday evening at sunset).

The last 6 commandments are about our relationships with each other. I find it very interesting that more commandments are about relationships with each other. This twice about how you treat others.

Love One Another

• Honor your father and your mother. Your earthly father and mother brought you in this world. No matter if are good parents or not, you must honor them for the fact that they brought you into this world.
• You shall not murder. This is also includes abortions, and wishing someone to die. Pay attention to your thoughts and ask for forgiveness when you sin in your mind.
• You shall not commit adultery. The Savior pointed to the fact that lust even when lacking physical act, is adultery. We must keep ourselves in check through prayer and repentance.
• You shall not steal. Any form of stealing. Don’t cheat your taxes. Don’t take from the poor, and definitely do not take anything without asking no matter how small.
• You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Don’t lie about others. Do not slander others, do not gossip. (Forgive me Sonini Nanini. This is an area that I sin against you)
• You shall not covet. Be grateful for what you have and pray for what you need. Do not wish in envy what others have.

¹⁷ “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill.

Matthew 5:17

Daily Routine

Prayer

How you start your day will make a huge difference. Getting in the habit of starting your day alone with Sonini Nanini will definitely lead to great things. On a daily basis plan 30 to 45 minutes minimum ideal 1 hours of alone time as soon as you wake up. Start with a prayer. Your prayer life will evolve as you spend more and more time with Him. It is important to thank Sonini Nanini, ask for forgiveness for breaking His commandments, and consecrate your day to Him. I would recommend spending 30 minutes praying and worshipping. Moreover find songs on youtube specifically worshipping Sonini Nanini, not jesus or god or lord. This is one of the songs that I really like. I had someone translate it for me to make sure it is for The Most High.

Gratitude List

Your gratitude list will change your mindset completely. Daily in your alone time after prayer or as a part of your prayer, be sure to list everything, and everyone you are grateful for. Continually thank Sonini Nanini for your breath and the fact that you are alive. Thank Him for your family, your home, and your ability to earn a living. Make your list as detailed as you can. You can based your list on your Sonini Nanini, health, wellness, relationships, and finances. Additionally, make a list of people you are grateful for. Throughout the day reach out to them and tell them how much they mean to you. This can be your spouse, or your children, or people you work with.

Your Life Goals Vision and Mission Statements

It is important to speak out loud your life’s goal’s vision and mission statements. I broke these categories down as follows for your reference on how I wrote vision and mission statements:

1. Spiritual Vision and Mission Statements
2. Health and Wellness Vision and Mission Statements
3. Relationships
4. and Finances and Wealth

Your Daily To Do Lists and Schedule

While you are alone, take some time to go over your calendar or to-do list. You can ask Sonini Nanini to give you favor to complete the most important things. In His wisdom, He knows what we need most. Therefor, include Him in your to-do list as well. I prefer electronic calendar and online document that I can copy and updated daily. I use google workspace account, which helps me keep everything on one place. However, you can use a notebook, and a simple pen along with a desk calendar or notebook calendar. It is up to you how you manage your schedule. The most important thing is that you manage it. I find that no matter, there are daily items that must be done on a daily basis no matter what. Make this list, laminate it, and hang it where you can see it.

Fuel for Your Body

Very little can be accomplished when our bodies do not have what it needs. Health and wellness is vitals in this case to make sure that our bodies are in a top shape. Therefore, sleep well, plan and eat healthy meals, and exercise your body. Moreover, hydrate too. I find that the best water bottles are those that have interval trackers on them and can hold 1 gallon of water. A good rest, good food, and hydration will go along way in helping you in achieving your calling and persevering. Sometimes it is the simplest things that can lead us to greatness.

Fight Discouragement And Rest

For someone like you who is on a narrow path, you will deal with a lot of setbacks and discouragement. You are in a war my friend. Learn strategies of warfare because you are not only fighting here in this physical realm, you are also fighting in the spiritual realm. Listen to your entire being spirit, soul, and body. Are you getting tired? If so, plan rests in your strategy. Identify ways that your body need a re-set and then pick yourself up again and keep moving. Never get stuck in a funk. If you need to cry, cry! While you cry, analyze the reason why you are crying. Depending on a reason of your sadness address it in prayer, and also in seeking assistance like therapy. You are in a war, and sometimes even warriors take time to rest and re-strengthen themselves.

The post 4 Steps On How To Be Brave, While On A Narrow Path~ Step 4 of 4: No Matter What Do Not Quit appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.

Who Are You?

If Someone asks you who you are what would you tell them? I wrote briefly about this topic here. Most would start with the obvious. Characteristics like, I am a mother, a daughter, or a son, and a father. While others will say what they do for a living such as I am an engineer, a doctor, etc…However, those who dare to dig deeper, will talk about their values such as honor, integrity, compassion, and humility among others. Additionally, some will want to get an A on the question so faith, and religion will come up. This question cannot have one singular answer. We are complex human beings. Moreover, this journey of self-discovery is a lonely one. It is a journey that evolves over time. We are spirit beings with a body and a soul (personality) that is why the answer to this question tends to be a hard one to answer see this link that explains it so well.

In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity.

Erik Erikson

My Journey

The only way that I can talk about this topic is to share my journey. I am not expert in answering difficult questions about life. However as someone who gone through some hard life things, I can share what I experienced and you too can share your journey in hopes to learn, relate, and just exist. The moment that I thought that I had finally arrived, was the moment, I realized that I was not quiet there just yet. Initially I wanted to write about my thriving story. My journey of surviving severe trauma and being able to live on the other side of it. However, I quickly realized that somethings were complete lies. In fact the core of who I was and the values I held dear were complete lies. Yes, faith bases that I held dear for over 24 years. You can imagine my shock and utter turmoil when I realized that everything I built on was false. This is when my I went on a journey of finding who I am.

Impacts of Lack of Identity

The best illustration I can give you is of a house. When building a house, it is known that you must build the house on a strong foundation. Houses not built on strong foundations are easily swayed and do not stand strong. In fact anything that comes against the house can sway it in any direction leading to its destruction. I found that there are other attributes to lack of identity such as trauma, not knowing one’s origin, and deception. For so long I was so lost. I did not know who I was for so long even while I was a christian. For a long time, I felt like I was camouflaged. I tried so hard to fit in and to be who I thought people wanted me to be. This way of living eventually leads to an identity crisis. Additionally people who lack identity tend to experience more emotional abuse as they become targets of abusers. People see these weaknesses and exploits them. Once you know who you are, you are grounded and not easily swayed.

Spirituality Is The Foundation

Remember how I mentioned that you are a spirit first, then you have a soul which is your personality, and everything is housed in a body? My point I am making here is that you cannot truly have identity if your spirit is malnourished, sick, and or ignored. If all you are first and foremost is a spirit, it makes sense to understand it, where it came from, and how to truly connect with it. I have found that everyone at one degree or another is trying to connect with the spiritual side, but sometimes we are led astray into practices that are not good for us. Some of those practices include witchcraft, new age teaching, making our own doctrines and principles all in the name of spirituality. Like I said, I am only going to talk about and share my spirituality journey and what I believe to be true. Knowing what I know now, I truly believe that in my spiritual walk a lot people are called, but few are chosen. I am not here to convince you to join my spirituality, but rather I am here to wake the chosen up. This is NOT for everyone.

Do Other Spiritual Beings Exist?

In order to reconcile with my spiritual side, I had to learn and understand that there are spiritual beings. One of those being is The Creator Himself. Of course I want to reference the Bible, but I am wondering if Science has proved whether one designer of all actually exists. Watch this scientific proof of Sonini Nanini’s Existence. If The Creator exists, where is He? Why can we not see Him? One of the easiest way I can help you understand of existence of other dimensions, is the discoveries of CERN. The European Organization for Nuclear Research believes that there are other dimensions and they have found a way to get to the other side. The call it dark energy or dark matter on the other side of our dimension. Could what they describe be the spiritual realm? A realm where those without a body live? This Bible account gives us an insight of the spiritual realm.

¹¹ Therefore the heart of the king of Syria was greatly troubled by this thing; and he called his servants and said to them, “Will you not show me which of us is for the king of Israel?” ¹² And one of his servants said, “None, my lord, O king; but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom.” ¹³ So he said, “Go and see where he is, that I may send and get him.” And it was told him, saying, “Surely he is in Dothan.” ¹⁴ Therefore he sent horses and chariots and a great army there, and they came by night and surrounded the city. ¹⁵ And when the servant of the man of God arose early and went out, there was an army, surrounding the city with horses and chariots. And his servant said to him, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?” ¹⁶ So he answered, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” ¹⁷ And Elisha prayed, and said, “Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

2 Kings 6:11-17

Where is God? Is He a Spirit?

If you look at creation, you can see His Presence and Signature all over it. I believe that Sonini Nanini is everywhere, in everything, at the same time. He created in His image, meaning with a Spirit, a Soul, and a Body. I believe since we are like Him in that sense, He is like us in that sense also. In my post: Who is The Most High and What Does He Look Like, I talk about proof of the fact that He is a spirit, with personality, and has a body. As master mind of all creation, I do believe that He is everywhere, at any given time. He is outside of time, and see everything in the past, present, and future. He knows everything, and He is everything.

139 O Lord, You have searched me and known me. ² You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. ³ You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways. ⁴ For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. ⁵ You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me. ⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it. ⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? ⁸ If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. ⁹ If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰ Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me;
¹² Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You. ¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well. ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. ¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! ¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. ¹⁹ Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God! Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
²⁰ For they speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain.
²¹ Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? ²² I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies. ²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; ²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139

Soul/Wellness/Personality

Wellness has a lot to do with caring for the soul. I used to be confused when people said things like mental wellness, personality disorders, PTSD, Trauma, etc…Now I understand that there is a part of us that is not physical, that can get sick. So, what is that part of us if it is not the body? It is the soul! The soul is basically the mediator between the spirit and the body. The communication of the spirit and the body cannot happen without the soul. The soul will take information from body through our senses of hearing, seeing, feeling, tasting, and smelling. The soul is compromised of Mind, Will, and Emotions. I referenced to this video for information after watching countless others, this is the best one yet. What happens when the soul is broken? The brokenness happens when we experience mental illnesses that affects the mind. Other times we suffer trauma that affect our emotions. Lack of our identities can lead us to use our will in making wrong decision and allegiances. I believe that without a soul, the entire being is broken and dead. This is why I feel this verse is relevant:

For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

Matthew 16:26

Can The Soul Feel Pain?

As I am writing this post, I am literally asking this question. If the body goes back to the ground after death, and the spirit goes back to Sonini Nanini who gives it, where does the soul go? Does it go with the spirit if someone is going to heaven? Does it go to hell if someone disobeyed Sonini Nanini? If so, can the soul feel pain? The theory I can come up with here is that, it can since it gathers its information aka data from the senses in order to transmit that data to the spirit. Suffering pain from mental illnesses, personality disorders, and trauma which do not affect the physiology of the body, proves that the soul is the one suffering. However, is there any evidence in the Bible or anywhere else that proves that the soul can feel pain without the spirit and the body? In the verse below if the spirit goes back to Sonini Nanini, and the body back to the ground according to Ecclesiastes 12:7, the soul goes somewhere else. The two men died, their bodies buried, yet they went to two different places.

²² So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom. The rich man also died and was buried. ²³ And being in torments in Hades, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. ²⁴ “Then he cried and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.’ ²⁵ But Abraham said, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things; but now he is comforted and you are tormented. ²⁶ And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.’ ²⁷ “Then he said, ‘I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house, ²⁸ for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.’

Luke 16:22-28

The Body/Health/Out Presentation

As I am writing this section this scene of Mr. Bean attending an art class comes to mind…THE BODY!! The body is simply the outer shell of who we are. It houses everything we need to exist and to have life. In order to exist on the this space, and time, we need a body. Basically, the body grounds in this physical real, on this earth. Sonini Nanini created everything we know in this real to sustain life. Why did He do it? Create the Earth, I mean? Look around. Everything we see has design from our cells, to our DNA, to plants, to weather, and the cycles of life. If you really pay attention, you will see the glory of Sonini Nanini’s hand in all of. As for Biblical explanation, we told that there is a creator created all that we see and know including us.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ² The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

Genesis 1;1-2

The Body As It Relates to Identity

When you meet someone, you quickly make a distinction about them as it relates to their origin or background. The way we look, speak, and conduct ourselves reveals so much about our identity. Our body is the first clue into who we are. It will answer some preliminary questions that lead us to dig a little deeper. For instance, I wrote a post called Who is The Most High, and Who are His People? In this post, we can look at someone and be able to somewhat identify who they are and Whose they are. Our DNA alone is so powerful and thanks to current technologies, we can pinpoint which geographical origin, history, customs which helps with identity. Our body allows us to do good or to do evil. The body is the last defense in doing good or evil. This is why it is important to take care of your body so that it feeds your soul which in turn feeds your spirit. Also, you must take care of your spirit, which feeds your soul, and nourishes the body. Everything works together.

¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? ²⁰ For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

The post 4 Steps On How To Be Brave, While On A Narrow Path~ Step 2 of 4: Know Who You Are appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.

Why Do We Lose Sleep To Begin With?

Good sleep is vital to our health and wellness. Stress has been the key factor for me where I lose sleep. The moment I feel like I have a handle on my stress something unexpected throws me off my game. There are some trauma triggers that I still have to manage. The first step is to identify what can be causing you a mental and an emotional state of being. Due to lack of sleeping I fell into bad night time habits. One of those bad habits was going to sleep late, and sometimes watching movies till morning hours. Once I lost my routine, it felt impossible to get it back on track. If you aren’t getting proper nutrition not only that your health overall will decline, but so is your sleep. Eating a balanced meal and staying hydrated gives the body what it needs to function correctly.

I love to sleep. Do you? Isn’t it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.

Rita Rudner, American Comedian

Evening Routines That Can Help

I am not sure about you, but we are busy. We are parents to three children who still live at home. We have a few businesses that we manage, and a ranch. Not only that the stress can literally come from any of those areas that I mentioned, but the to do list along can be overwhelming. I used to be unintentional with my evening routine, but quickly regretted my lack of planning and strategy. In order for me to achieve a good night’s rest, I had to really thing about what can help me and also promote self-love and self-care at the same time.

Having A Calendar and Time Blocking

In order to manage a busy lifestyle, a calendar is a must. I use google workspace and it does make a different having tasks to complete for the day, and time blocking each area in the calendar. January 2020 I fell, and I went from a very organized, and motivated person to absolutely losing control. I had to take it easy to heal a mild-brain injury and constant heads, and back spasms made it impossible to get through tasks. Before long I found myself playing catch-up and the only way I could get ahead was adopting an electronic calendar system. In the evening time after dinner, I have blocked time for when the children go to bed, nighttime chores, my self-care time. Please give yourself time. It takes a while to get used to a new routine.

Either run the day or the day runs you.

John Rohn

Planning Meals That Are Easy to Digest

Meal planning goes along the same lines with a balanced nutrition. If you are someone like me who has a hard time sleeping meal planning can help a huge difference. I would recommend not eating hard to digest meals like steaks, spicy, sugary foods among others. One of the biggest mistake I made was thinking that drinking a glass of wine at night helps me sleep, however studies have shown that in fact alcohol interrupts natural sleep cycles.

Warm showers and Teas

I normally took morning showers, however taking evening showers helps my body relax and gets my blood flowing. Additionally, I love pineapple tea at night to help me relax and sleep. You can see a general pineapple tea recipe here, but you are welcome to experiment with it. Additionally, I practice shutting my brain down. I try not to have decision making conversations, and slowly get in the mindset that it is time for bed. I am excited however as we are installing a tub in my bathroom, where I will be able to take bath and use all kinds of bath salts to help me further. So, if you have a bathtub, definitely take advantage of it and get some self-care in before bed.

There must be quiet a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.

Sylia Plath

Slowly Start Going To Bed Early

It is unrealistic to think that insomnia will be fixed in one night. It will take time to get used to a new routine. One of the most important thing is to give yourself grace. I recommend starting small. Start going to bed 10 to 15 minutes early every night and waking up 10 to 15 minutes early every morning. Give yourself some flexibility to sleep in on the weekends as your body needs, then go back to that routine during the week. Overtime, you will train your body to get used to waking up early. This is harder than said. There will be temptation. The key here is to pick up where you can and keep going.

Day Time Routines That Can Help

There are some things you can do during the day to help you get your sleep back. In addition to eating well, hydrating, stress management, these tools are helping me get my sleep back and keep it.

Avoid Taking Naps During The Day

One of the things that are hard with changing a sleeping routine is the mid-day, early afternoon, and early evening crash. I cannot tell you how many times I was so tired and I pulled the car over and took a 15 minutes nap because I just couldn’t drive. I think those types of naps are acceptable. However, if no one is in danger of a literal crash, it is safe to do your best to avoid napping. Sometimes napping helps get through the day, but it doesn’t fully help us get back our sleeping routine back.

Conflict Management~ Manage Your Conflicts During The Day

There is nothing more difficult than sleeping next to your wife or husband after a disagreement. Some people use bed time as a time to hash out their issues, however I have found this to be mistake. I know most say do not go to bed angry. How about don’t make it to you sleep time angry. What happens when you are talking before bed and no one reaches an agreement and the disagreement gets worst. I know a few people who sleep like a baby after an agreement. In fact I have met one person. Care to guess who that is? It is best to take sometimes and discuss issues preferably the next day when everyone had the time to cool off and sleep on it. Still tell each other you love each other, but avoid discussing hard issues, disagreements, and making decisions before bed.

Make Your Bedroom A Sanctuary

This area is still work in progress for me. If I was to think what makes a bedroom a sanctuary is a room that is free of clutter. There is nothing like getting into a bed that is made, clean, and smelling good. A clean bed almost guarantees relaxation, and a healthier sleep. Additionally, it is important to make sure that bedroom furniture are well proportioned with the room size. We live in an old farm house built in the late 50’s. It is a challenge to find adequate storage, so decluttering, and smart storage is a must. We are in the process of doing just that. The less is more in this case, but it is not as easily done. However, having a goal, and a vision for the space helps the pursuit. How about you? What type of bedroom do find soothing to promote sleep? I will be sure to share when my bedroom is where I want to it to be. Simple, yet clean, and elegant.

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines

Robert H. Schuller

In Conclusion

There is no conclusion on this. This is a work in progress for me too. As I write this post, I am realizing that I have a long way to go to master sleep issues. However, the key is to keep these tips in mind even when I fail. I must remember to pick myself up and keep going. What tools and tricks that have helped you get your sleep back? What other tips do you have for people who may be dealing with trauma triggers?

The post How to Restore Your Sleeping Routine appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.

My Story

As I embarked on my 90 days journey, health and wellness was one of the most important step I had to take especially that my health was declining. I knew that my time was not here yet and that I had so much to accomplish. So I had to fight and get back on track. I had to change my mind set. Instead of seeing time as a way to only work and earn money, I saw time a way to take care of my health and wellness so that I can take care everyone and everything else. Before I started this holistic journey, my health was declining. Something had to happen or I would have ended up being a diabetic, and my mental health would have suffered greatly. I may have had some severe health issues and I could have lost my life. I had to look at myself in the mirror and realized that I need to do something to save myself. The question I asked myself was, how did I get here? I knew that I needed help, so I started to pray for The Most High to help me. I tell you what, he really does answer prayers. I had seen a lot of post from an old friend of mine who is a fitness guru, but they never really meant anything to me until one time when I asked him about what he did, and if he could help me. Sure enough we embarked on this journey. This was by far one of the best decisions yet.

Vision Statement:

A vision statement is a statement that I used to describe what my health and wellness goals look like. I understood that I needed to be intentional and specific in this area in order for me to have a clear road map if I was going to achieve my goals. My Vision statement looks like this:

Once I lose the weight, hydrate, sleep well, and have my stress under control, I will be healthier, energetic, look, and feel amazing. I will have confidence, and love myself. I will have a well rounded lifestyle that allows me to achieve my goals and dreams while I find my identity. With my mental health in check, I am unstoppable.

Yvette, D.

Mission Statement

The mission statement goes into details and breaks your goal down in a way that is SMART (Specific, measurable, realistic, and timely). For someone like myself, this is an important step because I tend to create goals that seem to be too much. Breaking a goal down almost guarantees success in achieving that goal. This is what my mission statement looks like:

Starting April 26th to July 7th, 2022 for a 90 day period (Timely) I will take care of my health by eating well, exercising, and hydrating. I will also focus on my wellness by taking care of my mental health, get enough sleep, eliminate brain fog, manage my stress, and exercise self-care. In the next 90 days, I will recite out loud my health and wellness vision/mission statements. I will exercise for 5 to 15 minutes of intense workouts everyday. I will also do 30 minute walks in the park or on a treadmill and burn 200 to 400 calories. I participate in intense homestead activities that will keep me moving. I will drink one gallon of water per day, and I will be eating from my detox food list to reset my body.

Yvette, d.

Health

Our health is so important. We cannot do what we want to do if our health is declining. I truly believe that one of the greatest commodity is good health. Our society has made us to believe that money is the most important commodity, but I would beg to differ. Have you heard of that saying…”you are what you eat”? Meals and meal planning can be difficult especially for someone with a busy lifestyle. However, it is not impossible to find a meal plan and a list of foods that are designed to help your body depending on your body type and needs. I was so fortunate to have a list of foods from my coach that include meats, vegetables, fruits, grains, etc…designed to help me detox my body, lose water weight, while I gained focus, and better sleep. I was amazed to see that in about a week, I lost 5 lbs, slept better, and my brain fog was gone. I had so much energy, and I just felt amazing. However, it is not hard to do some research and see which food that can help you in the areas that you struggle with the most. If you would like information on who my coach was, feel free to ask .

The 90 days program was so easy to do and follow because the exercises lasted 5 minutes. These were high energy, non-stop exercises. Let me tell you, they were hard, but I was able to get them done, because they were 5 minutes. I did these exercises 7 days per week and pushed as hard as I could to get the most benefits. I would highly recommend investing in a workout program that is best suited for you. However, walking is free. I just picked up walking in the park, and I kid you not, I am sore from it. I love walking because it also plays a role in trauma healing. The waking motion is similar to the techniques used in EMDR therapy. Walking can make a huge difference in your fitness and wellness.

I don’t know about you, but I do not like to drink water. I get busy and forget. I also do not like multiple trips to the bathroom due to water intake. However, water is so important to our body as you already know. For women, hydration can help alleviate PMS symptoms, keep our face looking young, and keep our overall body functions in check. Of course, not all water is created equal. Be very careful to not drink top water or any water from the store. Invest in some hydration research. We are blessed to have a wale and we have filtration in place, but I am skeptical with top water, and bottled water these days.

Wellness

It is amazing how everything is connected, right? Mental Health as it relates to those who have suffered trauma is an ongoing process. The reason I think mental health is so important, it is because you are what you think. Think about this, your head controls the rest of your body. It is like a computer that tells the body what to do. Now imagine your computer has a virus in it, or some functions are broken because of an external issue such as broken wiring or power surge or something. This is the same with negative thoughts, traumas, brain misfiring in terms of chemical imbalances, etc…Mental health equals good health both body, soul, and spirit.

Sleep is a way for our body to reset, renewal, rest, and so on. Since I am using the computer analogy, it is like a reboot. Sleep is so vital to our health and allows us to keep our brain and our body to work well together. I have struggled with sleep for as long as I can remember. The difference between now and in the past is that now, I am intentional about sleep. I have a routine in place to help me sleep well. If for some reason I am dealing with insomnia, I have given myself permission to nap when my body needs it. This is dangerous though for those who need to maintain a routine. However, a 15 minute snooze has proven effective to reset my brain and not interfere with my sleep schedule. I read somewhere once, that if you hold a pen and take a nap, as soon as you drop the pen, your brain has reset, and you can actually benefit from that nap. My evening routine includes a warm shower, sleepy tea, and a massage from my husband with some essential oils does help. I am working on keeping the same sleep, and waking up schedules to train my body to stay consistent. However as I write this post, I woke up at 3:30 am and I couldn’t go back to sleep for an hour. When this happens, I wake up and start my day routine anyway, and when I am sleepy again, I go back to sleep. This way I can still keep my scheduled activities on track. A good sleep eliminates majority of brain fog, depending of the cause of the brain fog. Sleep helps!

Do you live a busy lifestyle? Are your responsibilities stressful? Stress management is something that I am working on right now. I have stretched myself too thin, and I am realizing now that it has taken a tore on my health. Sometimes our strength can become our downfalls. In this case my over-achieving, and goal oriented personality when left unchecked, can become a silent killer. In addition to the practices mentioned in this post so far, I am also cutting back on my responsibilities. This feel unnatural to me, but after seeing how my health was negatively affected, somethings must go. We have two businesses, a ranch, and we have children. It is easy for me to want to take on various projects, but at this point in my life I am going to invest my time wisely and take care of myself.

Self-Care and Self-Love is something that I am learning right now. I talk a lot about self-image or finding your identity. This is a core issue because if you do not know who you are, how do you love and care for yourself? Having identity issues is one thing, but when you add on trauma self-love which leads to self-care is almost non-existent. As I find myself, the more I love myself. Some of the self-care routines I have adopted are about beauty such as finding best products that work best for my face and hair. I cut off my hair and went back to natural hair, I am experimenting with various products, and I am loving my hair texture as part of loving my true self. Marvelously and wonderfully made. I have some self-care goals like whitening my teeth, get some new cute clothes as I lose weight, and take some new portraits, etc…

Please share with me how you take care of your health and your wellness. What areas of your health do you struggle with the most? How do you cope with triggers and traumas that affect your mental health? What is your night time routine? How do you practice self-care?

The post How to Building on Solid Foundations: Health and Wellness appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.

My Story

I was struggling with finding a balance for a long time. I had individual goals for different areas of my life, but I found myself frustrated because I felt like I did not have control over my own life. I ha tried everything I could from time blocking, to list making, but still as soon as one thing was caught up, the other thing was falling behind. I felt like I was on a roller coaster that never ended. Due to ups and downs, I started to get stressed, my health declined, and as result I got behind even more which created frustration. My quality of life in terms of joy and happiness started to get affected. Naturally, I am a goal-setter, an over-achiever, a dreamer, and I found fulfillment in achievement. Part of my self-discovery journey, it was important to me to be honest with myself in terms of looking at my strengths and weaknesses. Self-discovery and the journey of finding my identity meant that I had to do the hard-work to get to the root of the issues in my life that I wanted to change. I went on a 90 days journey to fully understand my life, and re-evaluate what is important to me. This is what I found out:

Common Reasons Why We Lose Life Balance

Looking back now, it it is easy to pinpoint some reasons why life balance is lost. One of these reasons reason is trauma. Like I shared in the previous post https://thrivingatlast.com/?p=2409 recovering from trauma is a life long journey. Although therapy helps, sometimes we are triggered, and if not careful we can fall into the old habits and stay in a unhealthy cycle. My tendency is to shift from pain to doing, and doing, and doing. This results in extending myself too thin. Do you find that you have some coping mechanism when triggered? What are your coping mechanism? How do you overcompensate when dealing with past trauma. I believe that knowing ourselves even knowing the things about us that are negative, can help us get our balance back sooner.

If we are not careful, our strengths can easily turn into our weaknesses when they are not in balanced. For me my dreaming and goal oriented nature can easily be used against me because, when triggered I want to go back to doing things I find fulfillment in. Having people in your life who know your strengths and weaknesses can play a huge role in helping you get your balance back. It is important for those who are close to you, to be people you can trust. I do believe that people in your life can make or break you. A supportive team member, spouse, friend, etc…can make a big difference in telling you the truth when they see that you are doing too much or too little. The can even volunteer to take things off of your to do list if it is something that can’t be taken off of the list. If everyone in your life did their roles or their jobs well, then you can focus better without worrying about everyone else jobs. Knowing that everything else is taken care of even when your to do list is increasing can ease your mind a bit.

Another factor to consider is responsibility. Lets be honest, we all have them. Bills have to be paid, we have to eat, and meet other financial responsibilities that fall on us. Life happens to all of us. One minute things are going very well, then next something unexpected happens. We are expected to figure things out quickly, and in all honest, this expectation is not realistic. So we fall behind, we choose which task to tackle first, second etc…and we do our best and hope for the best that tomorrow is a better day. However, if we plan for the hard times and have contingencies in place, we can maintain life balance better. Do you have challenges that come up once in a while to plan for? How can you go about combating those challenges?

Spirituality

As I dived deeper into who I am, I found that the best answer as to do with spirituality. The answer to the question, who are you? covers so much including our spiritual nature. The core of who we are. As tri-beings we are complex and this is why so many like myself struggle with identity, especially those who suffered severe trauma. The 90 days journey forced me to ask serious hard questions for the first time in my life. As mentioned in the Ways of Finding Who You Are posts https://thrivingatlast.com/?p=2503 I was asked hard questions because I had never taken a serious look into my life. My Spirituality took a hit the most because, the deeper I looked inward of who I was, the more I wanted to learn the truth about God, Jesus, and the christian faith. I had held the christian faith so dear to my heart, soul, and mind. Although initially Spirituality was not a part of the Program, this is something that was important to me. As I dived deeper into Spirituality and why I believe what I believed, it started a journey that I did not expect. In this journey, I was able to reconcile with some of the questions I had in my christian walk. I completely changed direction and start to re-learn everything that I thought I knew. You can read what I wrote about this topic so far here: https://thrivingatlast.com/?p=2525 I wholeheartedly believe that your Spirit needs care and attention. How do you care for your spiritual part of you? How do you find answers to your spiritual questions?

Health and Wellness

What does Health and Wellness means to you? Health and wellness is the way we take care of our bodies, mental health, and over-all quality of life. The health part is vital because it is very difficult to life a good life while the body is sick. Same for wellness, it is very difficult to enjoy what your body does for your while you mind is ill. A healthy mind tells the body what to do, while a sick body is worthless to the healthy mind. As you can see health and wellness go hand in hand. There are activities that we have to engage in to take care of our bodies such as fitness, nutrition, and hydration. What I have learned so much in my life, is that there is answer to a problem somewhere. For our wellness, we must manage stress, get enough rest, and practice self-care designed to enjoy life. The key to reaching our health and wellness goals is to find the answers and apply it to your problem areas of our health and wellness problems. One of the things that I am grateful for right now in our lives, is the access to knowledge, and information. All you have to do is have internet access, and ability to type up a question. The issue is not that we do not have the answers, the issue is that we have to ask ourselves hard questions, and be willing to change and adopt. Unfortunately this work is not easy. However, in order to change our habits that negatively affect our health and wellness, we have to invest in ourselves, and be willing to do the hard work. As I invested time in this not so easy work, I learned a few things about weight loss, eating habits, sleep, and mental health. I understood that not only that I have to take care of my body, but also my soul. Mental health is something that I have been advocating for especially when it relates to trauma. Achieving wellness is probably one of the hardest work I have done to date. How do you practice wellness? What healthy activities do you engage in to regulate yourself?

Relationships

Lets talk about people in our lives. If there is one think I know we are meant to co-exist with other people. We are social creatures. We come from a family, and we build our own families. Life is not meant to be lived alone. However, for people who suffered trauma, we can sometimes isolate. The causes of isolation can be a result of so many reason. In my journey of finding balance, I wanted to understand how I go from, the do-it-all myself kind of a girl to delegating and sharing these goals with others. I also learned so much about how to treat and appreciate people in your life. In order for strong relationships to be sustain, gratitude had to be a foundation. Simply taking time in my day to call, and to send a text to someone about what I appreciated about them and why I was grateful for them. When we are overwhelmed, we lose sight of the good in our lives. It is important to take note literally of what is good in your life to see how blessed we are.

I noticed that my priorities were a bit out of place. There was a time that I had to work 12 hour days every day when I was building my business. However, years later, the business was built and infrastructure was put in place, but I forgot to slow down and spend quality time with my loved ones. I will share some of the tips in a separate blog post. How can you be creative in planning quality time and make sure that your loved ones enjoy the time that you spend with them? Quality time with our loved ones is sometimes overlooked and pushed down to the priority list. This is a huge mistake, because we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Love and appreciate people in your life because life can be too short sometimes.

Finances and Wealth

Lets be real. We all need money. We need money for daily needs, but also to plan for our future. Additionally, we have to understand out money blueprint in order to be fulfilled in this area. Financial independence is very important, especially when we have children, and wish to leave them with a legacy. Most parents do not wish for their children’s to struggle like they did. This is why finances and wealth come into play. However, for me, I know how to make money, but I have not fully learned how to manage it well. This is where the financial blueprint comes in. The way we view money. The rich dad and poor dad concept. In my journey, I had to learn how to make money work for me not having to always work for money. At some point, all the hard work in creating a business, or in climbing a corporate ladder has to pay off, right?

Building wealth takes planning, discipline, and knowing what your financial goals are to start working towards them. Knowing your financial blueprint, goals, and having a system in place, helps tremendously, especially when life decides to throw us curveballs. I was in a way moving blindly in this area of my life, and I am so glad that now I have tools, tools that I will share with you.

The Connection

You can now see how how all these areas spirituality, Health and Wellness, Relationships, finances and wealth are all connected. If one of these areas are out of balance, everything else eventually comes crumbling down. In order for everything to move in harmony, and to avoid stress and frustration, there has to be a system in place that connects all these key areas together in order to have a balanced life. The system makes it possible to adjust when goals change or when life happens to us. A clear picture of our financial health allow us to have peace of mind. Tell me a little bit about how you have achieved balance in your life. What systems do you have in place that help you build on a solid foundation? What curve balls has life thrown at you that are hindering you from living a balanced life? Any advice?

The post How to Building on a Solid Foundation appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.

The Journey to Healing

The healing journey is not easy in a sense that no one wants to re-live things that hurt them. Second no one wants to find that they have been living a lie, and breaking that illusion can be painful. Third the idea of starting all over or having to change is not ideal to many. It takes courage to embark on a healing journey, however the journey is like a rollercoaster. There are hills and valleys, and no guarantee on how long the journey will take, or how much time one will spend in the valley, or time spent climbing hills. However, there is power in truth! The truth will definitely set you free. I guess the question to ask yourself is, do I want to continue live in an illusion that could shutter any moment, or do you want to have a foundation that is solid and whatever I build on it, will stand forever?

My Story

For as long as I can remember, I struggled to fit in. Even when I was a child in my homeland, I was an outsider. I was shy, unpopular, and often bullied. My mind set back then was of black and white, never gray. For as long as I can remember, I have been wondering who I am, and why I am here. My identity crisis got deeper as I got older and as I attempted to trace my ancestry and where they came from. I was trying to understand why the Rwandan Genocide happened 28 years ago this April month of 2022 and took almost all of my family including my mother and sister. Additionally, I never knew who my father was, so this had left a part of me void. With these challenges of not being able to know who my lineage is, I also ended up in a foreign land. I had to adopt to a culture, language, and lifestyle to fit in. Slowly over time, I started to lose myself up until, after my daughter’s birth about five years ago today where I started to ask questions. Lets just say there has been a lot of tears, and sleepless nights with new revelations.

Most Common Answers to Identity Questions

If someone asked you today “Who are you”? What would your answers be? I bet you would start with your name, then move into your life roles, like you are a father or a mother, a sister, or a daughter, etc… once pressed into the question, you will more likely start looking a little deeper, the answer will start to address your values, like integrity, honesty, honor, royalty, and so on. If you really want to get an A on the question, your will then go into your spirituality, what you believe, and how you relate to a bigger force or divine order. Every layer of your answer will only leave you with more questions, and if you answer this question correctly, you should have a lot questions unanswered. This is exactly what happened to me and this is what started my self-discovery journey that I am on, and this is why I am here to share with you.

The Journey to Self-Discovery

When I started this blog, I was so enthusiastic about sharing my journey, journey of coming from surviving to thriving. I wanted to encourage others about healing from trauma, and as I was sharing I quickly realized that I only glazed the surface myself and I didn’t really know fully what I was talking about, because I had too built-on an illusion. What I thought I knew was false to a deeper degree, and so I stopped writing for a time, and I went on a journey of finding the truth. As I was digging for truth I slowly found myself. My journey to self-discovery was to answer the “Who are you question”. I understood why the trauma I suffered was so deep, and why my identity crisis was there. I found out that I was lost, so lost in the illusion to the highest degree. My spirituality crumbled. Something that had kept my illusions together like glue fell apart. I was devastated! At the same time my prayers were being answered. Finding the truth, so that I can be free at last.

Seek and You Will Find

I invested in a program with someone I have known for over a decade. He is fitness guru and motivational professional. I embarked on this journey in December of 2020 without knowing what I was going to find out. At that time, everything around me was going wrong. My health and wellness was declining, my relationships in a dump, and although I have businesses and money coming in, my financial health was not good at all. Sometimes things look really good on the outside, but once you start peeling the layers, its like a stinky onion. I knew that I needed to change something. So I invested in this 90 day program seeking a balanced life. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was desperate for ideas, a change, advice, anything at all. The Program covered Health and Wellness, Relationships, and Wealth and Wellness. 21 days in I added in a Spiritual component, because this is something that is important to me. What I am getting at is that if you seek you will find. The key here is to seek and to do the work necessary for a better outcome.

To Get to Truth, You Must Ask Questions

I guess one can ask, what is truth, and how do you know that what you believe is truth? This is a very hard question to answer and this is the question that I asked myself. In my journey of self-restoration and finding balance, my daily exercises forced me to start asking questions and digging a little deeper. I soon realized that I have been a sheep. Just like the waives of the sea, I have been taken here and there, and once I never questioned what I was taught. I have been accused of being naïve, and this was true up until I started to question everything. I questioned my spirituality, where did it come from, how can I possibly believe that it is true? What is the Bible and where did it come from? Who is Jesus, and why have I trusted my life to Him? I then asked question about me. My race, were I come from, why are my people so hated? Why don’t I fit in? Why do I still feel like something is missing? What is missing? Then I started looking at my relationships? Why am I attracted to white men? Why don’t I go out of my way to make friendships with the people of my race? What are the reasons why I hated myself. Where did these ideas come from? Then I asked about my wealth. Why am I not financially independent? What is my financial blueprint? Why, am I not supporting others like me…black women in business? What is worth for a man to gain the entire world but lose his soul? Why haven’t I returned home? How about My Mother’s land? What are my responsibilities as they relate to my roots?

Your Turn~ Who are you?

What questions do you ask yourself about your identity? What are your answers? I have taken sometime to fully understand that you cannot possibly heal from trauma without answering key questions as they relate to your identity. I also know that I am not the only one who suffers from identity crisis, but I think that most of us deal with this issue. There is a deeper root issue that I uncovered. Stay with the blog to learn what it is. You can also read about the next topic here. It is not a new discovery issue, but rather something my eyes were opened to via this journey. I was able to understand who I am and where I came from. I was also able to find the deceptions and lies that I shaped my illusions.

The post Healing, Self-Discovery, Finding The Truth, and Identity Journey appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 6:4

My Story

As someone who did not have family in the US, I learned that I had to learn to take care of myself. I knew that I could not afford mistakes. So, I replaced loneliness, sadness, and other negative feelings with business. I worked hard, and pretty soon I placed my self-worth, and identity in achievement. I noticed that anytime I would slow down, I started to think. Anytime that I would start slowing down suppressed memories would come crashing down. I learned that if I was busy then I did not have to think. On a flip side, the hard work I did in the past, paved a way for me to be able to afford pursuing healing. However, I was tired, stressed, overworked, surviving, but not thriving. What are you using to keep you from the effects of trauma?

Break the Destructive Patterns One by One

One of the purpose of therapy in my personal experience was to identify those negative destructive patterns that I was experiencing. We talked about way to cope, and ways to compartmentalize them so that they do not control me. We worked on breathing exercise, and other techniques specific to my needs. In one of my previous posts I talk about the importance of journaling and documenting how you feel and why. This has helped me not only identify those triggers or what time I am triggered or what time of the month. Come on ladies, if you know what I mean. This process will definitely help you break destructive patterns that may be hindering you in many ways. Once you identify things that are triggering you, your therapist or counselor can help you with them. One of my destructive pattern was irrational fears. Do you care to share yours?

In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.

Psalm 94:19

Revisit the Innocent You Before You Suffered the Trauma

Most of us we have the innocent inner child buried under the weight of traumas that we suffered. Once in a while that inner child makes an appearance, short lived, but nevertheless he or she is still there. As we remove layers and layers of pain, we will start to feel more and more like the innocent, inner child that we know was there all along. Do this, think of your personality before the traumas. What kind of person were you? Tell me about things that made you laugh? What was you personality like? Make a list of these things, and see how much of your inner child you want to connect with, build and grow, or part ways with. In a way when I was going through therapy, it helped me discover myself. I was able to revive parts of me that were masked by trauma. Here are some things to decide in this stage:

Who Do You Want To Be Now?

This is a great opportune time to not only discover yourself, but you can also re-invent yourself. One of the things that trauma kills is the spark of life. Do you sometimes feel like your light within you is dimming? Are you plagued with depressive tendencies? How about anxiety? I think that this is one is probably my favorite state because you get to dream again. It may not be an easy stage to do, but it is fun. A note pad and a pen, or a your phone notes can help you with this process. Talking with key people in your life who can remind you who you really are can be of a great value to you. Finding out what your strength and your weaknesses are, can also guide you in the right direction. There is really no write or wrong way to do this as long as you do something that is moving you closer to who you were created to be. Do you know your calling? The reason you are here? Do not let trauma rob you of your purpose.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Who Are the People in Your New Tribe?

It is very important to surround yourself with people who are encouraging and supportive of your journey. Sometimes you may have to distance yourself from people who trigger you. You can tell if someone triggers you when every time you are with them you have a negative feeling. Something about them makes your stomach turn. Listen to your body. How are you feeling when you are around these people. Do you feel like they drain your energy, or do they build you up. Also, make sure that you are not this person. The person who drains energy of others, and who is difficult to be around. Maybe the person you have to change is you, first. If you are anything like me, you may not have a big tribe in your corner. For me I had people in my life, but they did not understand me. So, I relied on Yahshua! He became my friend and my cornerstone. I was able to relate to Him as I knew that He, also suffered pain. I knew that He could restore me and heal me, and that He did.

Do this For You

This is you time to heal!! I challenge you to take the first step. One little step at a time can add up overtime to something incredible. How I know, because I have lived it. This is not one time process and then its done. through various life cycles, you may find yourself re-inventing and re-designing your life. I think that this is something that all of us should come accustomed to do. The challenge is knowing when you are at that crossroad of change, and taking the steps necessary to make the change. The biggest secret is knowing your identity. Do you know who you are?

The post How to Move Forward While Healing from Trauma appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.

My Story

I was probably three or four years old at the time. We lived in an African hut. Have you ever seen one? As a child, I was shy and reserved. I usually played alone. I was playing on the backside of the hut one sunny afternoon. There was a papaya tree with two branches. However, it split half way up into a V. He sat in the tree with one leg bent, and the other straight. He wore white robes and brown sandals. I had never seen anyone like him before. His hair was shoulder-length and wavy. The look in his eyes was compassionate. He said nothing. After staring at him for a while, I decided to run and get my mom. I grabbed her hand and pointed at him. She screamed when she saw Him, and back then when you screamed, neighbors thought you were being attacked by wild animals, so they came with weapons. My mom showed them the stranger in the back of the house, but when they got there, he vanished. They were angry with her for wasting their time. The story of Paul explains how Jesus revealed Himself to people in the Bible.

³ As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. ⁴ Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?”

Acts 9:3-4

So Why Does God Let Bad Things Happen to Innocent People?

I was so angry at God for a long time because I believed he had allowed all these horrible things to happen to me. After all, what did I do to deserve all this? When I grew up, I did a lot of things that harmed me, because of the trauma, yes, but also because of the anger that comes from trauma. Only when I had exhausted every option to fill the void did I turn back to God and express how angry I was with Him. I believe He understood my anger. There are many accounts in the Bible where God was angry, right? Knowing He can relate to me made it easier for me to turn to Him. After I began to get closer to God, I began to understand why bad things happen to good people.

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Psalm 145:18

In the Beginning Sin Entered the World

We who believe in the Bible believe that in the beginning, in the book of Genesis, God created a paradise for the first man and woman to live in. According to God, everything was permitted to them, except for this Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. A fallen angel sinned and was expelled from Heaven. Known to most as the devil, satan, lucifer, and many other names. The angel deceived Adam and Eve into disobeying God. When sin entered the world, it messed up paradise as Adam and Eve knew it and for generations to come.

Free Will

Once men had knowledge of good and evil, and they already had free will to choose, then it makes sense that people would choose to do good, and those who chose to do evil. Those of you with children will notice that they each have different personalities, one might be a risk taker, pushing boundaries, while another might be shy and reserved, so one may follow the rules. There are those who do good, and there are those who do evil, no matter their gender, race, religion, background, or demographic. Evil doers, unfortunately, inflict trauma that leads to more evil doers, injured humans, and so on. You do, however, have free will to change, to take another path, to heal, and to stop your children, and their children, from repeating the cycle.

God of Law and Principles

Although man disobeyed, God did not change. God is the same God that cast the devil out of Heaven then as He is today. Would He be a supreme being if He broke His own law? According to the Bible, death is the wages of sin. Adam and Eve were warned by God not to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil that they would surely die if they did. Even though it took almost a millennium before Adam and Eve died, death did come to them. There are also references in the Bible to God not being a man, that He should not lie, that the devil is the author of lies, and so on and so forth. In one way or another, mankind will pay for what it has done in this life. Since God sets the standards, we must conform to His supreme standards, not our own.

For the Lord is our judge; the Lord is our lawgiver; the Lord is our king; he will save us.

Isaiah 33:22

A Way Out

Based on that logic, there was not one righteous man worthy to bear the punishment we deserved. The Creator, God, took it upon Himself to save the creation that He warned in the garden. Even so, he still left us with a choice: to accept the free gift of Salvation, which by the way comes with perks, like healing from trauma, restoration in which you are made new, and an eternal, painless existence. What else can we ask for? Jesus gave us a way out. A way out of trauma, a way out of both physical and eternal death, a way out of life without meaning, a way out of anything that kills, steals, and destroys. Are you willing to accept this way out? It is unlikely that I would have found healing and relief from trauma without the assistance of God. Do you have to be a Christian for Him to intervene, no. According to the Bible, he causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. Since God loves all His creation, He does not wish for anyone to perish, but for them to find eternal life, therefore He wants to have a personal relationship with Him!!

How to See God Before, During, and After Your Trauma

As I write this, I can already tell that this is not a popular topic, especially for someone who has suffered intensely. You suffered at the hands of others, and most likely there was nothing you could have done to stop the suffering. Maybe you were a child like I was, or maybe you were older and didn’t know what to do. Whatever the case may be, I assure you that there is a God who loves you. This is the same God who appeared to me as a child. When I look back now, I see that He knew what I was to suffer and wanted me to know that He was with me through it. Our God is a God who took on our humanity and suffered so that we wouldn’t have to. Our suffering is nothing compared to what He went through for us.

God^[b] was manifested in the flesh, Justified in the Spirit, Seen by angels, preached among the Gentiles, Believed on in the world, Received up in glory.

1 Timothy 3:16

Jesus Knows Suffering

I believe in Jesus because I have seen Him. I also believe that the Bible describes Him accurately. As I learned more about God, my questions began to change. The question shifted from Why would a God let all this suffering in my life to Why would a God die for me? What could He possibly gain by doing so? I found it increasingly difficult to comprehend the pain, and torture Jesus went through as I read the books of Matthew, Mark, and Luke in the Bible. As soon as I started to imagine the pain and humiliation He suffered, I began to see Him understanding my situation. The moment that happened, I saw God as a friend, as a parent, as someone I could trust. Someone who loved me so much that He took on what I now understand as my punishment. As you can see, God is also a lot of things. He is a Judge who holds His own laws seriously, and nothing, no sacrifice, no works, nothing was good enough to take away the judgement we were to face. Therefore, He suffered on our behalf, so that we would not have to. Therefore, I am able to relate to Him because He also relates to me.

 And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Luke 22:44

Take a Closer Look of Your Life.

It’s more difficult than you might think. When you are suffering from trauma, being grateful is nearly impossible. You are unlikely to write down every day what you are thankful for, even if you set a goal to do so. If you do, it will feel like a chore, not something you enjoy. Do you know why? It’s because you’re in pain. You know, pain can be tricky. When you get rid of this pain, you will start to see so many amazing things that life has to offer. All of a sudden feeling the sun kiss your chicks will be a thrilling experience. Even the smallest things will make you laugh. Even things you didn’t find valuable will start to be so important to you that you will want to get up in the morning to do them or see them. You will start to see that God has preserved you and kept you all these years so that you can fulfill your calling.

Can You See Him?

Today I challenge you to take a closer look at your life. You are alive and breathing if you are reading this far. Have you ever wondered whether there is something that you, only you, were made to do? Do you ever feel like you are just scratching the surface, but you haven’t reached your full potential? You have a purpose and a calling on your life, and I truly believe that you are reading this for a reason. Is there any evidence of divine intervention in your life? Was there ever a time when you could have died? What about when you got good news about a job or a diagnosis, or if you survived something awful and have no idea how or why? Answer this then, why are you still here? How did you make this far? Could God be with you now and guiding you to fulfill your calling? What if trauma stands between you and your calling? Ever wonder why Jesus spent most of His ministry time healing the sick?

How Many Resources Do You Have at Your disposal?

I once read that if you live in America with a roof over your head, food on the table, and clothes on your back, then you are wealthier than everyone else on Earth? I will have to look that up. Nevertheless, from my personal experience after moving to the United States I felt like a lot of resources opened up to me. Things were still not easy, but I had options. Looking at your life, what resources do you have to start healing from trauma? Perhaps you are a parodical son or daughter, and it’s time for you to return. Maybe you never heard of this Jesus or those who called themselves Christians are the ones who inflicted this trauma upon you. Whatever the case may be, I challenge you to challenge everything you believe. Believing that you can achieve more is your aim! You have a purpose and a calling in your life, and there is a God who loves you, who understands you, and who wants to help you, like He helped me (I will share the story of how He helped me in the upcoming blogs)?

Finally

There has to be cooperation between you and God. Unlike the devil, he will not force you into anything. Instead, he wants you to say yes to your own healing. To help, guide, and set you on the path He designed for you, He wants to be in a relationship with you. Will you accept the free gifts He has for you? Even if you don’t fully understand, how much more pain are you willing to endure? Don’t you think that the people you love deserve to see the best version of you? When you pay attention, you will see God before, during, and after your trauma. Saying yes to God makes all the difference. Say yes to you making the connections you need to heal. You can either go to church and ask for prayer or comment on this post so I can pray for and with you. You can also call professionals in your area for help. Resources are more readily available than ever before.

The post I Saw Him: How to See God Before, During, and After Your Trauma appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.

My Trauma Story

Some of you may already know that I was born and raised in Rwanda. My family was among those killed in the 1994 Genocide, in which over a million people were killed. Those events are still fresh in my mind. Although I tried to forget as much as I could, it seemed as though I was unable to get rid of those memories. I dreamed about them every night. So, I thought maybe I should just get busy so that I don’t have to think about it. In response, I became busy. As a distraction, I worked full time, went to school double time, and took care of my kids. Success was a sign to me that I was whole. In other words, if someone like me can accomplish what I did, then surely I am okay. Seven years later, I married. It all came crashing down. At first, I did not understand why I still did not feel healed. I became frustrated.

What are some of the Steps You Can Take To Overcome Trauma

You are not alone. Take steps today to heal and thrive. Trauma can be so painful. It feels like a prison. You feel trapped. Often, you are not aware of the triggers and how to stop them. It is a struggle of pain, frustration, and for some like me, the desire to numb the pain with things like alcohol, work, and self-destructive behaviors. Does this sound familiar? I encourage you to listen. You can find healing and move from pain to joy filled life.

Step 1: Accept That You Are Not Ok

Sometimes we are in denial. After all, denial helped us cope with trauma. As a result of denial, we dissociate, so we don’t feel the full weight of what we’ve been through, right? Nevertheless, in order to heal we must accept that we need help, and that’s okay. It was very difficult for me to accept that I needed to seek help. There is this stereotype about counselors, and how black girls are supposed to be strong, etc…I am here to tell you this is utterly untrue. The human body can benefit from counseling, medications, and other interventions.

Step 2: Determine What Kind of Help You Need

Taking into account your needs is crucial here. You will also need to consider your budget, time availability, and how this new journey will affect you and your family. Finally, I said yes, Lord I will get therapy. It would have been helpful if someone had told me what to expect once I started therapy. You wouldn’t believe it, but I ended up seeing a psychiatrist after asking around for referrals. What I needed was trauma treatment, not psychic medication. Do your research and get to know what your needs are. It is at this point that I recommend journaling since you can write down what you feel your needs are and find someone who complements them.

Types of therapy

The form of therapy I got did is called Eye Movement and Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) EMDR is an intensive therapy. During therapy, I relived everything, but mostly after I got home. I had nightmares again, but when I returned to therapy, we worked on that memory again, until I no longer needed to. This therapy brought back frightening memories after frightening memories. During therapy, I was able to replace one memory with another. She asked me, for example, what I would like to replace my memories with. I replied that I would like to see Jesus there. I wanted to know why He allowed me to suffer in the way that I did. I was able to see and place Jesus in my mind from memory to memory. Thus, an experience that was once haunting, became a memory that showed me God’s protection, and preservation. In the face of the deaths of many of my relatives, friends, and neighbors, how else would I survive? What types of therapy do you think you need?

How I was able to Make it Out

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ”.

2 Corinthians 1:3-9

Financial Commintment

It is not cheap to undergo therapy. Depending on the therapist, you may pay before the session, or afterward. You must budget for that. If you have insurance, you may have to pay a co-pay, but that has to be arranged beforehand. You may also have to drive to your appointment. I would like to know if your therapist can offer some flexible options. For example, if you are ill or don’t have time to travel. If you have young children or pets that depend on you while you travel, plan accordingly. Someone may need to watch them while you’re away.

Time Commitment

Consider how much time you want to spend with them. Time commitments are hard to predict. You may need to see your counselor frequently depending on what you are working on and how difficult it is. If things get too challenging, you may need to contact your counselor, which is not something you can plan for. In addition, depending on your obligations and financial situation, you may have to space out your sessions sparingly to meet your needs. I wish I had known that I did not have to attend weekly sessions. As a result, I could have planned accordingly by taking these factors into consideration. I missed, forgot, and did not attend sessions, so I did not get the most out of my therapy.

Plan for Emotional Cost

This is a good one. People did not tell me I could develop severe PTSD, which would literally keep me from getting out of bed and incapacitate me for days. Despite this, I can see how this is a good thing, as I probably would not have gone to therapy at all for fear of facing the terror again when my entire life was spent running from feeling. You will probably feel those buried feelings all over again. My goal is to prevent you from experiencing a deeper shock than I did. With this, you can actually plan around your therapy. For instance, you could schedule your therapy on a Friday, leaving you with a weekend to recover, or you could schedule it before your day off from work. After therapy, you can also schedule time for self-care so that you have time to recuperate. Just trust me! After some therapy sessions, you may need to recharge, while others may give you extra motivation and energy.

Step 3 Take a Leap of Faith and Get Help

What do you have to lose? A little time and money perhaps? Consider what you will gain in return. It’s Freedom. The cage you have been imprisoned in for who knows how long will be broken. The cage I’ve been in for over two decades was broken for me. Two decades of self-destructive behaviors left me physically, mentally, and emotionally disabled. I was unable to trust anyone, and I could not be happy. This can potentially save your life and free you from misery.

Step 4 Trust The Professionals, Most Importantly Trust God

As you interview professionals to help you with this process, I hope you will take time to interview them. It is highly recommended that you do so. It is common for offices to interview you, but you may not get a chance to meet the person before your first session. Take some king a quiz to see where you need help. Are you looking for a counselor, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist? Take some time and write down the areas in which you are struggling, and then ask the therapist relevant questions.

Step 5 Complete Your Homework

Avoid taking shortcuts. It will be hard and sometimes it will seem impossible. Give it your best shot. If one day it’s too tough, take a break. Once you begin to feel better, pick up where you left off and put some effort into it. Take good care of yourself. I mean to replenish the emotional energy, eat well, drink plenty of water, and exercise. Journaling is highly recommended. You will be pleasantly surprised to find out that your therapist anticipates your feelings and guides you through them when you document what you feel. I wish people had told me not to expect so much from myself. Wait, they did! We’re only human, after all. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose, and that’s fine. Just don’t get stuck in that funk for too long. Just keep moving forward regardless of what happens. Never give up.

Step 6 Thrive and Pay it Forward

We are all in this together. Whenever you get help and are able to thrive, please lift someone else up. Spread the love! So many people around the world are struggling. Tell your story. One story can inspire so many. As you share your story, you will also nourish your soul. Do not suffer alone as I did. In the event that I had a chance to go back in time, I would have gotten help right away. I didn’t lack funds; I lacked knowledge.

Without knowledge action is useless and knowledge without action is futile.

Abu Bakr

The post The Effects of Trauma and How to Not Let Them Hold You Back appeared first on thrivingatlast.com.