Lets be honest, healing from trauma may take a long time. The healing depends on the effects of trauma, and on the individual. For someone who has suffered trauma, most of the time we do not know that we need healing until we start to pin point negative patterns in our lives. Most of the time we have found alternative ways to cope with the trauma. However, we do not fully understand triggers that set off those repetitive patterns. In most cases we are living life, the hard way, but we are moving forward, unless someone suffers trauma and immediately suffers detrimental mental illness, or physical trauma that requires immediate medical attention. So, how does on move forward while healing from trauma?
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 6:4
My Story
As someone who did not have family in the US, I learned that I had to learn to take care of myself. I knew that I could not afford mistakes. So, I replaced loneliness, sadness, and other negative feelings with business. I worked hard, and pretty soon I placed my self-worth, and identity in achievement. I noticed that anytime I would slow down, I started to think. Anytime that I would start slowing down suppressed memories would come crashing down. I learned that if I was busy then I did not have to think. On a flip side, the hard work I did in the past, paved a way for me to be able to afford pursuing healing. However, I was tired, stressed, overworked, surviving, but not thriving. What are you using to keep you from the effects of trauma?
Break the Destructive Patterns One by One
One of the purpose of therapy in my personal experience was to identify those negative destructive patterns that I was experiencing. We talked about way to cope, and ways to compartmentalize them so that they do not control me. We worked on breathing exercise, and other techniques specific to my needs. In one of my previous posts I talk about the importance of journaling and documenting how you feel and why. This has helped me not only identify those triggers or what time I am triggered or what time of the month. Come on ladies, if you know what I mean. This process will definitely help you break destructive patterns that may be hindering you in many ways. Once you identify things that are triggering you, your therapist or counselor can help you with them. One of my destructive pattern was irrational fears. Do you care to share yours?
In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.
Psalm 94:19
Revisit the Innocent You Before You Suffered the Trauma
Most of us we have the innocent inner child buried under the weight of traumas that we suffered. Once in a while that inner child makes an appearance, short lived, but nevertheless he or she is still there. As we remove layers and layers of pain, we will start to feel more and more like the innocent, inner child that we know was there all along. Do this, think of your personality before the traumas. What kind of person were you? Tell me about things that made you laugh? What was you personality like? Make a list of these things, and see how much of your inner child you want to connect with, build and grow, or part ways with. In a way when I was going through therapy, it helped me discover myself. I was able to revive parts of me that were masked by trauma. Here are some things to decide in this stage:
Who Do You Want To Be Now?
This is a great opportune time to not only discover yourself, but you can also re-invent yourself. One of the things that trauma kills is the spark of life. Do you sometimes feel like your light within you is dimming? Are you plagued with depressive tendencies? How about anxiety? I think that this is one is probably my favorite state because you get to dream again. It may not be an easy stage to do, but it is fun. A note pad and a pen, or a your phone notes can help you with this process. Talking with key people in your life who can remind you who you really are can be of a great value to you. Finding out what your strength and your weaknesses are, can also guide you in the right direction. There is really no write or wrong way to do this as long as you do something that is moving you closer to who you were created to be. Do you know your calling? The reason you are here? Do not let trauma rob you of your purpose.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Who Are the People in Your New Tribe?
It is very important to surround yourself with people who are encouraging and supportive of your journey. Sometimes you may have to distance yourself from people who trigger you. You can tell if someone triggers you when every time you are with them you have a negative feeling. Something about them makes your stomach turn. Listen to your body. How are you feeling when you are around these people. Do you feel like they drain your energy, or do they build you up. Also, make sure that you are not this person. The person who drains energy of others, and who is difficult to be around. Maybe the person you have to change is you, first. If you are anything like me, you may not have a big tribe in your corner. For me I had people in my life, but they did not understand me. So, I relied on Yahshua! He became my friend and my cornerstone. I was able to relate to Him as I knew that He, also suffered pain. I knew that He could restore me and heal me, and that He did.
Do this For You
This is you time to heal!! I challenge you to take the first step. One little step at a time can add up overtime to something incredible. How I know, because I have lived it. This is not one time process and then its done. through various life cycles, you may find yourself re-inventing and re-designing your life. I think that this is something that all of us should come accustomed to do. The challenge is knowing when you are at that crossroad of change, and taking the steps necessary to make the change. The biggest secret is knowing your identity. Do you know who you are?
